Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Young adult in my life

There are the times when you sit and think and analyse your life and come to the conclusion that you need someone to talk to. Don't get me wrong, I would really want the services of a psychiatrist but when I just think of the hours, sessions and payments to be made... I would rather stick to looking for non- charging individuals (close friend, best friend, friend-who-has funny-and-witty-remarks) who might end up giving their opinions instead of listening.

Actually this is better than silence. Holding it all in and acting as though I have it all together is an act that I have never quite mastered to the core. I end up looking like an insomniac, depressed and about to quit on life. Not good! I start to think of how my life sucks and that nothing is really going to work out... I know, positive thoughts = positive results... But hey! am HUMAN. I can't help it if I sulk for a while just to get over the depressive feelings I have over my current situation. Don't deny it, you've been here, through this road... confused on a way forward.

Well, there is always an upside to whenever you feel this way. One unexpected person will always cheer you up... Even if it may be for a short while. In my case, it's the young adult in my life. Just at 2 years old and she has the angelic and psychic power to note when am not okay. We call her young adult as she behaves quite like an adult, despite her age. Being a young mum bestows a sense of responsibility upon you. Stereotyping of young mums, day- to- day challenges of being the 20 something (under 25) you are, relationships musings, employment things and general life; have a way of making you feel older than you actually are.

She then dashes in, screaming and laughing (not swoop in like Superman but with the terrible twos in tow), just to jump on you, calling you 'Mama, Mama' as she cradles your face in her tiny hands. Trying to talk and mumble some sentence but all you can get is 'pepeti', 'mamasos' and dodon'. Well, as time goes buy you get to learn this other language and translations being, spaghetti, tomato sauce and Nickelodeon (in that order). Quite the simplest way to say, "I want food and cartoons."

A smile comes to your face as you realise what she is trying to tell you. The joy it brings to a mother to see her daughter try to construct sentences or pronounce words, is satisfying to me. With that fleeting chance to have a smile and forget my troubles, I am just grateful to have my young adult. I just have to appreciate the good moments she brings and get back to yelling as she tries to climb the stairs or scroll my phone. Aiyaya!

In the showery privacy

When you become an adult, major life thoughts and decisions basically sift through your mind while in the shower. Maybe its the calming effect of the drops of water rolling down my back that just uplifts my thoughts, close my eyes and think of what am doing in life, who I am in this life, where am headed and my purpose to this life I live... Or it's just the whole idea that I am alone and vulnerable and stripped to the bare minimums, that makes me realize that I can actually multi tasks and  get done with a lot of procrastinated decisions....

Anyhow..... To echo the words of artists Nico & Vinz- In your arms"...who doesn't want a machine so they could go back in time...", I seriously do need one at this point in life. At times we make decisions and as we later sit and think to ourselves, we somehow conclude that we need to reverse time and make a different decision. This would then cause a ripple effect in our favour, as we hope that the outcome is what we desired.

We often speculate what the future will be, and whether the life ahead of us has anything of good to offer us. Since getting the time machine to travel back in the past is a tad bit difficult and impossible (besides the calculations, probabilities, headaches, nervous breakdown, crazy-scientist-hair and looking like you never cared about yourself), I would actually try and invest in anything that would give me a glimpse of my future. You know, like have a peek at what life will be, what changes will have happened.... and with that in mind, come back to the present to actualize what I just saw.

Instead of having a shot in the dark and waiting not knowing that anything will materialize... I guess I would be the crowd that falls for crystal balls and foreseers.... but not really! Dabbling in the dark arts is not my forte. I guess I will just have to accept the outcomes of my decisions and hope for the best. As I also continue to balance the delicate act of holding slippery soap and thinking of what to eat... By the way, I need to eat.

Disclaimer: If you know anyone who might have that time travel thingy, well, we could just chat extensively about it and they could do the  sci-ency stuff while I do the travelling.. so just holla.